I Think This Line's Mostly Filler
by ToiletWater
Summary: A story to fill in the blanks of Tara and Willow's relationship, starting with season 4 and carrying all the way to season 7. The story-line has every thing, so it's hard to summarize. WillowxTara, obviously; to become AU in season 7.


Summary: This is a fill-in-the-blanks fanfiction that started out as a roleplay. Since the very wee stages of Willow and Tara's relationship are non-descript, I wanted to see what I could come up with to fill in the blanks. This will continue passed them getting together, however, and likely turn into an AU (Alternate Universe) around Season 7. This story answers any questions you may have had about their relationship, the things we've never seen but should have had a chance to.

Disclaimer: You don't want to know what would have happened if I owned BtVS. So obviously, do not own.

A/N: I have never attempted to play Tara before, so any feedback on her character would be appreciated. I don't think I did horribly, but I'm not an expert. If any one has suggestions or constructive criticism, do feel free to drop me a line- politely, of course. Aside from that, enjoy!

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Xander, Buffy, and Giles made a fantastic family, there was no doubt about that. Even so, Willow would be excited to have some thing that belonged especially to her- some thing unique. Some thing cool that only she could do. As the chanting prayer droned on on and, she continuously tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach. Of course, she was nervous- since these girls were probably way more experienced than her- but just as many of the butterflies were from excitement. There would finally be people she could look to to for help (well, in theory)! In all honesty, she still wasn't really sure she enjoyed this...prayer-type...thing...or not, but she could get used to it. When it finally ended, she just sat quietly, allowing the girl that seemed to be the coordinator introduce her to the rest of the girls.

As she usually might, the redhead noticed some one sitting on the floor. She looked a little pre-occupied...but why was she sitting on the floor? Couldn't they bring in another chair or some thing? The group didn't take much time to get to know her before one of them was talking about a bake sale to inform other sisters. She wasn't a telepath, so she wouldn't know, but it sounded an awful lot like "Let's make money!" to her. "Do you guys ever do like...spells?" she questioned, a little more bluntly than initially intended- but she was in no way expecting the response she got. The girl on the floor seemed to be the only one interested in what she said at all.

"Some stereotypes are not all that empowering."

Whoever that was (none of them had seen fit introduce themselves) seemed..._offended._ Really? Some one would be _offended_ by that? Willow decided it would probably be best to...stop talking. Of course, when it seemed like "girl sitting on the floor" might say some thing, she was hopeful.

"Shhh, guys. Tara, do you have some thing to say?"

Disappointment. "N-no..."

Okay, she could have at least provided some small explanation as for why she was sitting on the floor (yes, she was that OCD over it). At least some thing that would imply it. She couldn't help it- Willow was so used to viewing college students as 'elders' and she had been raised to show a little extra respect. It was so _awkward_. If not for the fact that it would have seemed...really weird...she would eagerly have gotten up out of her own seat. But it would be, so she decided against it. Weird was one thing she absolutely did _not_ want to be. Since there was so little to actually talk with these girls about- and she didn't feel comfortable to converse, any ways- she had to entertain herself with some thing, and this stuck out in her mind. That girl (Tara? Had she heard right...?) seemed like she was scared of some thing. And now that she thought about it, these others didn't seem quite...pleasant. Had they done some thing to her? She certainly hoped not, but the idea had her kind of angry. High school was bad enough, but that people in _college_ would feel the need to bully some one?

When it ended (much to a delight she would have preferred not to have), the girls all dispersed. Even "girl who was sitting on the floor" seemed to disappear. The redhead would have wanted to ask her if she was okay, but that would probably have been weird, too. She was just too empathetic to be at all okay with the idea that some thing was wrong with anyone. With some effort, she turned her mind back to what she had thought of the situation. It seemed like a group of "wanna-blessed-be's." Hey, maybe that was a good line! Maybe she'd use it some time...outside of conversation with her best friends, of course. Although she knew she cared too much about peoples' feelings to do some thing like that, she was severely disappointed. This was supposed to be a learning experience. She wanted to develop her powers and become helpful- at least some thing like it- and to learn and understand. It sounded not only nerdy but corny as well, but if she had come here looking for insight...it was clearly the wrong place to be.

She hoped Buffy wouldn't mind if she didn't really feel up to patrolling tonight. The slayer didn't seem to complain that she needed help...but she was having boyfriend issues. Great. Another one of Willow's specialties. She had a ton of homework, and- although she knew her friend did, too- she wanted some time to practice. College Willow was still Willow and, well, she was worried. After all, Buffy had this big, all-important job and what could she do? Mess with computers. Like any vampires had websites? She was some what sick of Buffy having to cover for her complete lack of any physical strength, and was sure the blond was getting sick of it, too. At least in Willow's "inner mind theatre", there would be a situation where she was again completely useless and they would get sick of her.

Cynically, she reminded herself that she wasn't _totally_ useless. No, no. She could float pencils. If they ever came across a vampire rat, that would be helpful.

It looked like she'd have the dorm to herself for a while, though. Plenty of time to catch up on her homework. As usual, she got to it right away. With any luck, she'd be done in an hour or so.

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It wasn't that she hated them- no, Tara was far too sensitive to hate any body. Hating was a bad thing. It was just that...they didn't have any idea what real Wicca was. No, that wasn't a good thought, either. You shouldn't think badly of some one else just because they don't know some thing you do. That's arrogant- you shouldn't be arrogant. She fumbled through her pockets nervously, trying to find her key, sped to clumsiness by her desire to get inside the room. It felt like there were millions of people around (even though she was alone) who could all hear her thoughts (even though she thought them quietly) and would be judging her- silently or not. Now she was being paranoid. Paranoid and arrogant. And stupid, apparently. It felt like forever that she stood there, continuously looking through every pocket on her clothing, underneath the door, even trying to twist the door open- but nothing succeeded. Forever was more like 20 minutes, but it was long enough. She had lost that damn key. Why did she have to be so forgetful? Now she was pitying herself. Just trying to get this door open had exhausted her mentally. And she still had to get a key. Tara walked quickly, trying to get out of the view of all the non-existent people she felt were staring at her. The feeling didn't disappear, though, and the actual presence of a human being didn't help her at all.

"Um...T-Tracy?" she bit her lip, wishing that damn stutter would just go away.

"Tara, hi." it always seemed like she was annoyed. Tara must be an annoying person, she decided- hands fidgeting around inside the green sleeves that were way too long on her arms.

"I-I, um, lost my k-key? I was w-wondering if I could g-get a n-new one?" tears of embarrassment were threatening her, and that didn't make this easier, either. If she was embarrassed, maybe she shouldn't have gone losing things. It was only a key, but being forgetful and clumsy like that was imposing on some one else.

"You lost your key?" she droned again, her irritation unmasked. The blond looked down instinctively, her mouth moving to form an apology, but nothing quite seemed to work. "You know, you're in a University. You should be more prepared." She nodded, too ashamed of herself to respond in any other way. "Wait here. Angie will help you." Again, she just nodded, trying not to flinch when she then proceeded to call out for the named woman.

Tara had to fight not to think that she was being loud, obnoxious and even somewhat rude. It was wrong to think that, especially if she was going to help her. After multiple times of mentally correcting herself, she ended with; 'I just didn't like the way she was yelling.' and then 'But it's none of my business.' She tried not to be impatient, but the feeling of having thousands of eyes looking down at you when all she wanted was the privacy of her room made her want to claw right out of her skin. The woman she assumed was 'Angie' came in, and seemed to be talking with her- too softly to be understood- but Tracy left after that, muttering under her breath. At least this new person seemed...less loud. That wasn't what she was really thinking, but she had to suppress the real words so she wouldn't think some thing rude.

"Here ya' go, kid." she said, much more pleasantly. Naturally, the blond was relieved. "Don't worry too much about Tracy. She's got a stick up her ass." she had to keep herself from laughing at the image of her swearing; it wasn't that unusual, but...well, it struck her as funny that some one on the job would talk like that so openly. "Always has, always will. "

She shyly took the key, smiling as gratefully as she could manage. Of course she was thankful, but it was hard to smile sincerely when you were nervous and ashamed. "Th-thank you." Angie just nodded, allowing the moment to pass in silence with out probing for more conversation. It seemed nice to her, even if it was probably more that she didn't _want_ to have a conversation than it was that she was doing her a favor. It didn't matter at this point, she wanted to get inside her room so badly it felt like the outside world was suffocating her. That was a little backwards, like she was a reverse-claustrophobic.

She held the key inside a firm fist, determined not to lose it this time. Maybe she should put it on a necklace or some thing. It would probably look stupid, but hopefully, it would look less stupid than losing every thing and then having to ask for help. It was awfully rude of her to impose on some one that way, not to mention selfish- demanding their time because she wasn't cautious and went losing things. Her hands were clumsy and shaky again when she finally got back to the room. That head of her's just wouldn't _stop_, and she'd already felt bad enough. The door opening soothed her a little, though. Inside the protection of that door, it felt a little safer. Being surrounded by the magic objects she owned reminded her of that new girl from the club. She hadn't said much, but she mentioned spells...maybe she'd like to come over some time? "_I could teach her..."_ was what she was actually thinking, since she did at least want to be a helpful person, but the part of her mind she assumed was logical jumped back at her quickly. "_That was stupid._" she scuffled her foot on the carpet, looking down again. It didn't feel quite as bad as being outside of this room, but she couldn't exactly say it was pleasant. Why would some one want to try a spell with her? She couldn't even keep track of her key. No, some one who was going to learn how to do "real Wicca stuff" definitely deserved a better teacher than her. And besides that, she would probably be creeped out by it. This wouldn't work at all; it would probably be more helpful to not try to help.

Exhausted from the thoughts, she changed into a pair of pajamas and tried not to look in the mirror as she made her way to the bed. Then she turned out the light, allowing herself one thought before forcing her mind 'off';

_I'll sleep on it._ she promised, shutting her eyes as she tried to get into a comfortable position.


End file.
